The Blanket

My fingers fret to type… this is one of a million encounters I have had in the past year. But, today I will fight this.

Clouds of anxiety have surrounded me and procrastination wraps me like a blanket. I am being told that I don’t have time for hobbies, anyway what good would that do. My brain continues to become one with logic and facts, while my heart fights a lost battle. Once again my love for words has taken a backseat and inspiration has left the room… For there is no room for good writing, where there is no courage to hear the heart’s call.

My instinct is to get up and be brave, but it feels like its too late ? Let me stay in this blanket a little more… atleast till the clouds pass and its a sunny day. Oh dear! Only if I knew how weak delaying an act of bravery makes you?! Each day a cloud disappeared, but my feet started to feel cold. And, when it was finally a sunny day… my body felt numb to even move. I found myself in a sea full of insecurities, timidly floating on a plank of logic. My blanket and my numb-self having only each other to hold.

Love,
J

(Beautiful illustration by Yao Weng at https://www.behance.net/yaosogood)

LESS

He texts me in the middle of the night asking ‘where have I been ?’ I know he has been drinking and my friends say he’s longing for me. But, Babe I let you go. You said you didn’t want more, but I did. So, I let you go.

Remember the time I made Nutella sandwiches for you, you were late for class so I stuffed your face full. And I left your place, with a note on the wall. I bet you still got it in your drawer. We didn’t have much time, but you didn’t want more. So, I let you go.

Your message pops at 4 am, why are you doing this to yourself ? This is a dead end, I have locked myself out. We are still in your car, head banging to your playlist. But, I don’t remember any of those songs. But, we are still there in the past – happy and in love. Let’s not ruin it. It was beautiful but, you didn’t want more. So, I let you go.

Love,

J

Damaged Goods

Sometimes I almost forget how you hurt me, it still hurts but I forget the weapon you chose. You are a wound which hurts more than it should. You didn’t cut me deep, love. You grazed me persistently. Bruises from your empty stares and abrasions from your blunt indifference cover my chest. The pain from it all has stained my soul, the way your love should have. I dress my wounds carefully, I want to heal. I write my grief, I draw, I scream but I don’t let a tear touch my wounds of you. I wrap bandages that say ‘you deserve better’ and some of my friends even signed ‘stop feeling too much’. Yet, every morning I wake up with a fever and all the wounds oozing ‘you’. I want to walk off you, I want to walk off us.

Image via withmercii on Instagram

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When you have a crush so intense, you need to write an Eviction Notice

To,

All the (fictional) Boys I’ve Loved Before

I am extremely sorry to inform you that I surrender, and from now you all are free from the chambers of my heart. The reason for this urgent evacuation is one such boy who has conquered my heart as a whole and my heart no longer has control or vacancy.

I would like to make it clear that this was not intentional and an act of pure charm and sorcery. So, please don’t hold a grudge against him, especially Noah – because I finally ‘know what I want’ and you belong with Allie more than anyone. This boy fills my heart with such *sighs* … I don’t know what to call it, but it has just taken a complete hold over me. When I see him, my heart stands still – skipping a beat is such an understatement because it lasts for so long – I don’t think I can take it but, I can’t stop myself from looking at his perfect smile and things he does with his eyebrows. I know now what you meant by theory of moment of impacts, Leo ! I know now more than ever and you are free to win back Paige.

Its just so hard to keep a straight face when he talks about himself, I just want to rip my heart out and give it to him. He is out there chilling in a hot tub and I get the chills here, while replaying the clip. Maybe this could be the start of something new ? Troy, I know you will understand this. Forgive me for holding you all for so long, especially you Taylor Lautner – I don’t even know when I stopped loving you. All I know is right now this boy with his bejhdbejshdebjsksb is making my heart pounce – and with all that turbulence I cannot support my affection for anyone but him. Damon, Elena chose you and I choose Peter Kavinsky. Till another do us apart.

I have loved you all dearly in your best and worst. You have served my heart well, but now its time to leave. So, please accept my resignation and this eviction notice. Say you’ll remember me standing in a nice dress, staring at the sunset…

(leave the keys under my pillow)

Love,

J

Thank you for reading !

Hope you enjoyed it !

I thought I was over having boy crushes and then Peter with the beautiful eyes happened. Hello Suffering.

With references from The Notebook, The Vow, High School Musical, The Vampire Diaries, Taylor Swift’s song Wildest Dreams and To all the boys I’ve loved before.

I do not own any of the images displayed in the post.

Wings I Wrote – The Blog of My Life

Creativity and hobbies take a backseat when it comes to pursuing a degree in Med School. Soon after I cleared my tenth grade, I went from being in the school editorial team to a textbook-reading bore in college. Of course I used to write now and then for the college magazine, but my thirst to express was never fulfilled.

Marching into second year of college, I came across the idea of blogging. I procrastinated, thinking it was too much commitment – I was never a Journal person, to be honest. Being the Gemini I am, I struggle at being constantly interested in the same thing. I worship change. My laptop screen literally escalated between House MD and 90210. So, the question to blog or not remained inconclusive.

College is a turning point for every individual. It is one of those times in life, when you are actually aware of the decisions you take and experiences you choose to be a part of. For most of us, its our first taste of independence as an adult – And, good lord ! Independence tastes damn good. I could finally choose something I wanted to eat, without worrying about what my parents would think or if it was some particular day of the week. In between those moments, I actually felt that I was evolving. Each day in college, I felt less of the school girl I was. Lyrics made more sense, Egg dosa made more sense and theatre popcorn prices made absolutely no sense. I was reinventing myself and all I could think of was I want to document this. I want the future me to know how it feels to be here at the grey zone, before its too late and I no longer recognise myself with the person I used to be. I thought I owe myself that.

Bundling up all the enthusiasm, I googled – ‘Best blogging wesbite’, I remember that typo till this day, which I quickly corrected and made an addition “Best Blogging Website 2014”. After a long night of research, I decided on a website and a blog name. I was always obsessed with metaphors and the idea of flying being synonymous with success. I wanted my blog to be about my journey where every decision I made was added as a feather on my back. And I made a promise to myself to remember that I am blogging for me. ‘Wings I Wrote’, I typed and my journey as a blogger began. I sure have made some questionable decisions in my life, but Wings I Wrote will never be one.

Four years ahead, Wings I Wrote is my escape from life’s chaos. Whether its a playlist I am dancing to or a restaurant I am dining at, everything I share – is truly, unapologetically and unfiltered ME.

Image Courtesy : Vikram Loona

Thank you for being here, I appreciate you.

I wrote this piece for my college magazine earlier this year. When I was asked to write a piece on my blog by the Editor, I knew it was a story that I have to share before I graduate. I think people often think that being in Med School means just books and libraries – eventhough its true, but not the ‘just’ part. I hope my article inspires more people to express themselves and have fun. You are a different version of you everyday, busy or not – make time to Celebrate yourself, whenever you can.

” I hope one day you’ll see a photograph of yourself or read something you once wrote and think, I can’t believe I was once that sad. ”

– Lauren Eden

Wings I Quote #55

Via The Filmy Owl

The Stir-fry of Your Life

How often do you find yourself wrapped up in a warm blanket and procrastinating to go out ? Your tummy rumbles, but you had pizza yesterday so that’s out of question. This is me every Saturday and Sunday. So, I figured out a simple and to the point recipe for a stir- fry that tastes good as it is, ofcourse if you want you can always have it with a carb of your choice. Most importantly, it only takes 15 minutes to prepare. Almost all ingredients can be found in the vicinity of your refrigerator. Now, enough with the yada yada that nobody’s gonna read. (Thank you person of lovely nature who is reading this !)

From My Kitchen to Yours :

Home-Style Chinese Stir Fry

What You Need:

  • 1 tablespoon of Garlic (minced)
  • 1 tablespoon of Ginger (grated)
  • Cornstarch slurry (1 tablespoon cornstarch mixed with 1 tablespoon water)
  • 1 tablespoon of Sesame seeds (optional, if you like them)
  • Chopped Green chillies as per liking
  • 2 bowls of Diced Vegetables of Your Choice

(Bell peppers, Mushrooms, Onions, boiled/cooked broccoli)

  • 1 bowl of Protein of Your Choice

( Tofu or Paneer or Chicken : cubed and pan-fried)

  • Salt and Pepper
  • 2 tablespoons of Oil

Method :

  1. On medium heat, heat up a pan with oil.
  2. Lower the heat, add in garlic and ginger sauté for 10 seconds. Make sure the garlic and ginger don’t burn or become dark brown.
  3. Switch to Medium heat. Now add in the Vegetables, mix them until they are cooked a notch below per liking. (as they will continue to cook when you add your protien choice) Also, I prefer keeping my veggies slightly crunchy for stir-fry.
  4. Lower the heat. Now put in the soy sauce, cornstarch slurry and seasame seeds (if you are using), mix well to incorporate.
  5. Add in the chillies and the tofu/paneer/chicken. Switch to medium heat and keep stirring for at least 5 minutes.
  6. Switch off the heat, Season with salt and pepper. Combine.
  7. Serve and enjoy !

Hope you find this helpful!

Thank you 😊

Wings I Quote #54

- Lauren Eden

Selfish

I haven’t written anything in a while. I usually write people with my memories of them. The way they make me feel and their lingering actions – is how they inspire my pen to kiss my paper; between that and the details – you’ll find me, writing something as a memory that I want you to remember, as I remember it, as I felt it… as it made me feel. But, you… you are different – I don’t want to share you with the world, I want you just for myself. You make me selfish. You are the song I want to compose, but never write down. Its not just the time we spend together, but also the pauses I take in between our conversations on the phone – just wondering how your face looks in that moment, too. There isn’t a single FaceTime conversation that we have had, where I haven’t felt the need to shower you with kisses. You make me so comfortable. It scares me. What did I do to deserve you, what would I have to lose to keep you. And, everytime I think about the possibility of losing you, my pen stops.

Love,

J

Thank you for reading !

Illustrations by Puuung